Why FAB isn’t “Absolutely Fabulous” in early sobriety…

Have you ever quit alcohol for a period of time with all the best intentions, you were sick of feeling tired, anxious, perhaps snapping at the children. Health wise you know it needs to go but for some bizarre reason almost as soon as you start feeling the benefits of living alcohol free you’re romanticising a glass of wine or looking longingly into pub windows?

Welcome to the world of FAB, or rose tinted glasses if you prefer that analogy. Fading Affect Bias (FAB) is a psychological phenomenon where the emotional intensity of negative memories fades faster than that of positive memories. In other words, over time, people tend to remember positive experiences more vividly and forget or diminish the impact of negative experiences. This is very helpful when dealing with a major trauma but it’s not at all helpful when it comes to early sobriety.

Why FAB isn’t so fabulous after all?

FAB can lead to a distorted recollection of your past relationship with alcohol. So many negative emotions are attached to alcohol - shame, guilt and these tend to fade faster than the positive ones. Rather than remembering the time you put yourself in danger on a night out you might start remembering only the "good" parts - feelings of euphoria, social connections, or stress relief without fully remembering the downsides, like hangovers, withdrawals, or damaged relationships.

FAB is the danger zone and when there’s a higher liklihood to start drinking again, despite your best intentions.

So how can fight the FAB?

1. Write down all the negative consequences of alcohol, I wrote a breaking up letter to alcohol - how it was making me feel emotionally, how it was impacting the relationship with my daughters, my health worries. I’d reflect on this letter in the earlier days of quitting and it reminded me why I’d decided to quit in the first place

2. Connection they say is the opposite to addiction, it doesn’t need to be an AA environment, but talking to others who are on a similar journey can be hugely supportive. It might even be getting to a gym where alcohol isn’t the focus, surrounding yourself with like minded people where drinking isn’t the sole activity.

3. Practice Mindfulness helps people stay grounded and avoid romanticising the past. It’s easier when we’re present to recognise when nostalgic memories of wine arises and helps to refocus on present goals.

By maintaining awareness of FAB and actively working to counter its effects, individuals in early recovery can strengthen their resolve and stay focused on the benefits of a sober life.