How will I know it’s time to call quits on alcohol?

This was a question I asked myself on a fairly regular basis before I finally ditched alcohol for good. I’m what is described as a grey area drinker. I didn’t hit a rock bottom,  although I think I was certainly heading for my own version of it. I wasn’t physically dependent on alcohol and people around me knew I loved wine but I was mostly fun to be around and was holding down a good job. I therefore fell through the cracks, into a grey area. I’d had periods of stopping drinking but couldn’t stay stopped and I found trying to moderate physically exhausting with all the rules I’d try to put in place – limiting the days I drank or the types of alcohol I’d consume. I felt equally terrified of a life with or without alcohol featuring in it. But I also knew deep down that something had to change. Call it a little voice, barely audible or gut instinct. I finally called quits on alcohol 2 years ago and I my only regret is that I didn’t come to this decision much sooner.

So how do we know when it’s time? I don’t think we do, there were still tiny pockets of fun in alcohol but I appreciate now how I was giving wine all the credit for any joy I experienced and none of the blame for the anxiety, sadness, frustration and the chipping away at the relationship I had with my little girls.

I don’t think we’ll ever be 100% ready to embrace an alcohol free life, we have to be curious and a little bit brave.

Do you silently worry about your drinking? Have you Googled “Am I an alcoholic”?

Instead, can you ask yourself ;

Would my life look better without alcohol in it?

I wrote myself a pros and cons list around alcohol and then really challenged the beliefs I held about anything positive (by this point my pros were pretty short!) Could I get curious about feeling confident socialising sober? Did wine really relax me after a tough work day? I leant into self care and finding ways to soothe myself. Once I stopped drinking I started to notice all the positive impacts, the restful sleep, the resilience, the confidence, my skin, my patience was less frayed. All the things alcohol had promised, sobriety was delivering. I feel like I’ve broken free from a very long toxic relationship, I’ve got my life back and I love myself, something I haven’t felt in a very long time.

Surely that is worth stepping into the unknown and being a tiny bit brave?