Why is moderating so hard?

I believe some people can choose to moderate alcohol, perhaps alcohol hasn’t become that important to them, so drinking less is easy OR they are willing to take the time and effort to do it.

I have a friend who can make a bottle of red wine last ALL week, she’ll pour herself a glass on a Wednesday and slowly drink it with a little bowl of olives!! I have no idea who these people are. The idea of opening a bottle and not finishing it was completely preposterous to me as much as I might have tried.

For several years I would have longish periods off alcohol which I found relatively easy compared to moderation. I would bounce from 90 days off alcohol, hoping I could then moderate to once or twice a week. I would fail, it would creep back up and I’d feel miserable again. Everything changed for me when I was able to see alcohol for what it was, to make it small, irrelevant. I changed the perception from I can’t drink to I don’t want to drink. I’m happy to be around alcohol now, it has no power over me. I think moderation is part of the journey and only you can decide really whether it’s something you can do or want to do.

Part of that change is truly understanding the ins and outs of moderation – and what it means.

Here are 3 Things to Understand if you want to explore whether moderation is possible!

Moderation means you are always making decisions

Studies show that a decision – no matter how big or small – takes about the same amount of brain power.

Moderation = constant decision making. How many? What to drink? When? How much is too much? Which days of the week? How many days of the week? How many units? How many drinks in one sitting? What type of alcohol?

Just reading that is exhausting, all these decisions tire us out mentally, we feel grumpy and exhausted. If moderation is hard when we feel good, it’s almost impossible when we’re tired and fed up. Compare this to one decision to quit which liberates us from the millions of tiny, daily, decisions of moderation. I don’t drink, simple, nothing to think about there.

Alcohol creates a thirst for more alcohol

The same goes for any addictive substance. They’re addictive because they stimulate (artificially) the pleasure circuit of our brains. Once alcohol starts to leave our systems our moods plunge, we pour another glass in the hope of chasing the initial high

The fact that alcohol, by design, makes you want (need) more alcohol means moderation doesn’t physiologically make sense. The effect of drinking one drink is to want another drink.

I would get anxious and start thinking about my next drink before I’d even finished the one in my hand.

Don’t get me started on cravings!

Alcohol increases cravings (but not pleasure) by releasing dopamine. Addictive drugs, from nicotine to heroin, release artificially high levels of dopamine in the brain. Dopamine teaches us how to get pleasure. It helps us learn the most effective ways to stimulate the brain’s pleasure center. Over time, the wanting aspect of drinking and the liking aspect of drinking is no longer in sync.

I experienced cravings for alcohol when I knew it would make me miserable – when I didn’t even want to drink it. The misery here comes from desperately wanting and craving something you no longer even like. If you stay away from alcohol this (thankfully) goes away – but moderating perpetuates these cravings.

This is one of the reasons that moderation is miserable – it made me crave something I was not even sure I wanted

My attempts at moderation taught me that moderation is hard and pretty miserable, I had to try it out but was able to realise that moderating a nasty, addictive poison is not, in truth, worth my time, brain space, or energy.

I look back on my attempts to moderate as lessons on the road to an alcohol-free life.